Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Balancing Lifetimes of Cruelty

(When I do a past life regression I don't censor the information as it come in because I am pretty focused on seeing what happens next. This was one of those cases where I was so surprised by part of what I saw that I had a hard time believing it. Most of it made perfect sense to me though!)

I was in the desert. The heat was suffocating. The air was heavy and thick with dust and sand. I was the assistant to the overseer in charge of building a very large stone pyramid.

I hated my boss. He was cruel and selfish and cared nothing about the workers.

He had been given a budget to build the pyramid, but was able to siphon off money for himself by underpaying the workers and rationing their food to the point they nearly starved. He used the money he stole to have a palace built for himself while the workers and I lived in tents.

Our race had been given a gift of technology. It was unobtrusive and yet very powerful. It looked like a stick or a wand, and was about 20 inches long. There were tiny symbols imprinted onto one end, and when it was placed near a stone brick in a certain way the stones became lighter. They could even be made to levitate. Use of this technology was explained on a set of scrolls that the overseer kept in his possession at all times.

The overseer was in charge of the use of this technology and would with-hold it according to his whim, forcing the workers to move and lift the giant stone bricks with nothing but their strength.

Like I said, I hated him for his cruelty. And I hated him because he made me carry out the cruel punishments.

I decided to kill him, steal the scrolls, and ease the burden of the workers.

It was night time when I sneaked into his house. I hid behind a heavy curtain and waited. It was early morning when he came into the room. He had his back to me as he picked something up off of the table. I crept up behind him and put my hand on his shoulder. As he turned around, I stabbed him in the guts. I had enough time to notice that my hand felt warm before I remembered to grab the scrolls and run. However, as I was attempting to leave, his body guards ran in and stabbed me.

I was in shock as they picked me up and threw me outside just as the sun was coming up. I slowly bled to death as I watched the sun inch across the sky. Unable to move, I bled and burned until I finally left my body.


The overseer was someone who is very close to me in this life. Despite being "close", we never had an ideal relationship. Nothing I ever did was good enough to please, and I can say that our reactions toward each other have always been of general dislike. Harsh, I know, but I'm not going to sugar-coat it.

This lifetime building the pyramid, and a few others with this same soul, gave me such deep insight.

In this life she was abandoned and abused by nearly every adult in her life. She was sexually abused and a kid and raped when she got older. It is a wonder she grew into a functioning adult at all.

My attitude toward her changed dramatically when I was able to see the growth of her soul. I can't look at her with out seeing a soul who was cruel and violent turn into someone who abhors violence of any kind. And I have compassion for her for the lives she must have lived that I wasn't a part of (and therefor unable to examine through past-life regression). It can take many lifetimes for that kind of karma to even itself out. And from what I know of her life, she must have gained a lot of balance this time around.

For what it's worth, my attitude change helped things between us a little bit. But, we still have a long way to go...

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Challenging Relationships

No relationship is perfect, but some are more of a challenge than others. I have stated before that the best way to find information on a current relationship is through past life regression.

It is a misconception that we plan our lives in a "you hurt me so I'm going to hurt you" kind of way. From what I have seen, this is a rarity. Patterns usually occur in which the same soul will play a similar roll in relationship to you within each incarnation. I saw an example of this with one of my clients who experienced a challenging relationship with the same soul who played the part of someone demanding and domineering, and who happened to be put in a position of superiority. In one life they were an abused wife and in another was bullied by a work colleague.

It is worth noting that it takes an incredible amount of love for a soul to take on the role of the challenger.  I have seen this while doing readings for others and have experienced it in a very profound way within my life regarding my own challenging relationships.

The Soul Agreement

Let's discuss my former mother-in-law.

She was a manipulator who never thought I was good enough to be part of their family. She was cruel in ways that completely baffled me. I wondered about why she would say things that hurt me so bad emotionally that it caused physical pain.

For some reason, in the years following my divorce, I would have dreams about her. Strange dreams where she and I were happy to see each other and would talk about what's going on in our lives, like we were the best of friends. In these dreams there seemed to be a great deal of love between us.

When I learned how to consciously astral project, and began to recognize the visual cues of a projection, I realized that the dreams I had been having about her were actual meetings in the spirit world. During one of these meetings I became lucid enough to ask her why she treated me the way she had.

One of the things that surprised me was that she said the soul agreement I had during that part of my life was with her, not the person I was married to. She said I ended up married to him because I had a contract with her. She came into my life to pull me out of my shell, isolate me enough for me to see that I could survive on my own. Essentially, she agreed to make me so miserable that I would begin to question my life and my beliefs and see that there was another way to live.

She did this perfectly!

My questioning the beliefs I had been raised with was like pulling a brick out from the bottom of a pyramid. Eventually, everything that was resting on that belief began to crumble to the ground. I was left with no choice but to start rebuilding my belief systems and verifying each piece of information as to whether it was something that I had been programed to believe or if it was something coming from inside of me. It was difficult, emotional work. But it afforded me an opportunity that most people don't get. I had the chance to know and like the real me.

Past Life Patterns

Oh, the men in my life!

I don't want to go into a lot of detail, but there are patterns with particular souls that mirror the relationship we have have in this life. When I was dating, I enjoyed exploring past lives to get an idea about the kind of men I was spending my time with. It was also useful for showing me what I could expect to come of the relationship. Here are two examples.

When I dated C, I always felt like he was lying to me. I discovered a past life where he was my fiance. I was part of a very wealthy family, but when my family disowned me and I was left with nothing, he left me and married my sister instead. In another life he was a fiance who abandoned me when I became ill. The pattern played itself out in this life. He ended up moving in with another girl, the same soul who was my sister in the life where I was disowned.

And then there was A. Poor, A. I broke his heart, and I'm sad to say that was the pattern.  In one life we were in love, but I was forced to marry someone much older who had a large herd of goats. In the time and place we lived this was the proof of wealth. I never got to see the boy I was in love with again. Another regression showed a lifetime where he was my son. He was a sweet, sensitive boy, my youngest. I was married to an abusive man who disliked the boy as much as he disliked me. As I lay dying, my husband refused to allow me medical care, but my boy, who was only 8 years old, stayed by my side the whole time. As I left my body I watched my son start crying. My husband boxed him hard in the ear and told him to shut up.

A Word About Karma

Karma means Balance. There is balance required to advance as a soul. I have broken hearts, and I have had my heart broken. That is balanced. That is Karma.

Karma does not mean that the husband who abused me will come back as someone that I abuse. There is no soul advancement in that. However, over the life of the soul who is an abuser, they will also have experiences that will help them to grow out of the pattern of abuse. That is balanced. That is Karma. 

I will write more about this pattern of abuse in another post where I'll share some past lives I have had with someone in my close circle who was the abuser in past lives.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

July 7, 2007

Corporeal vision, brought about by thoughts of a mundane nature.
     corporeal – of the body
     vision – to sense and perceive things that are not of this world
     thoughts of a mundane nature – day to day activities
We are bringing these thoughts to you in your time according to your level of understanding.
You are aware that you leave your body while you sleep to perform healings on others.
You do this in accordance with your plan for this incarnation.
You are learning tools that will help you to do this in waking life as well.
Keep learning, and seeking, and studying.
Your goals are being accomplished.
Each new bit of information will come to you when it is time.

July 3, 2007

Tilling the soil brings fruitful gain.
Stirring up emotions is necessary or they will become impacted like clay once its moisture has evaporated.
Expressing emotions is vital for spiritual development.
Use acupuncture or the tapping method to stimulate these impacted energy points.
Release that emotion.
Drink plenty of water.  This will clean out your energy body as well as your physical body.
That old emotion will fall away like an etheric scab, and will reveal something clean and new and beautiful. 

July 1, 2007 (b)

Meditate to open your channels.
Avoid harsh chemicals, as they will pollute the stream and the flow.
We are here to help you with that if you call on us to do so.
Never doubt that our love and well-wishes are with you.
You are here for a grand task, the details of which are being withheld from you for the time being.
Build up your strength and your confidence and the details will be explained to you in time.
Do not fret or be impatient, as there is groundwork to be accomplished first.
You are making great strides and are progressing rapidly, but there is still much to be learned.
Ground yourself to be ready for it all.
You are walking in two worlds and are growing accustomed to the atmospheric differences in the other dimensions. Know that you are not alone in your explorations. There are others like you who are experiencing these shifts in consciousness as well. These are your soulmates, members of your soul group.
Your “twin flame” oversoul/archetype will appear to you out of this group.
Do not be anxious. The work is done.
Know that great happiness is yours.

The Beings of Celestial Light and Intelligence

July 1, 2007 (a)

July 1, 2007 (1)

Oversouls are the guides to the guides, if you will.
They are a source of great information, teachers. Much like a school has students (you on the Earth plane), teachers (your spirit guides), and a principal (the oversouls).
The hierarchy goes all the way “up” to the Godhead, the “All-That-Is”, The “Universal Divine Consciousness”.
And yet, it is a holographic hierarchy, in that the whole is present in each of us. In this sense we are all One.
We are all a part of the Source, and we are all The Source, complete in and of itself.
Think of a piece of wood. (You have imagined this yourself already.) Now cut that piece of wood in half. It is still nothing less than a piece of wood, two pieces of wood, in fact. Keep doing this to infinity, or until you end up with the tiniest splinter. It is still, in and of itself a complete piece of wood. And yet it is only a splinter of its source.

June 21, 2007

Honesty in all things,
Sacrificing self-respect will not get you where you want to go.
Make an effort to get on the road you want to take.
Things will line up for you accordingly.
People will be drawn to you, the right people to help advance you along the path you have chosen.
Take the first step, the rest will fall into place in unexpected and amazing ways.
You will find peace and joy if you have selected the proper road.
Take the first step and give the Universe something to reward.
Peace, love, and blessings are what you will experience if they are what you are willing to give away.

June 15, 2007

We are here for you.
Nothing you do or say can separate you from our love.
Stop focusing on lack.
Inside you there is a river of abundance flowing.
Your perceptions are illusory.
Your sense of knowing is not.
These hard times are helping you grow.
Like a wheel, things cycle around. One minute you are on the bottom, but quickly you cycle again to the top.
Circumstances play out as they will, as they must, but the spirit of your true soul is all knowing, all loving.
The spirit of your true soul is working for you to see that all your needs are met.
Your chart is being written as you go along.
When you fully understand the illusion of perception in manifesting your desires you will be ready to move on to the next step.
Your perception is the lens that you look through to see what you will.
The illusion is that the lens is stationary. It is not, not by any means. You have at your disposal many lenses to select from.
You have changed lenses at various junctures of your life already.
You know these words are true.
There are lenses that fit into lenses. Layers, if you will.
Do you see now how certain lenses bring certain objects or circumstances into focus?
It is up to you to adjust your focus.
Bring into view the experiences that you want.
See them as real and they will be.
Destroy the old lenses that do not serve you well. Transmute their energy into its purest form.
Carry that pure energy in your heart and let it feed your soul.
This is the God Energy, and this is what it wants to do if you will let it.

June 2, 2007

Time is a collection of memories.
Like the clouds rolling by, you see something that is not really there. They are just an accumulation of gasses.
Do you feel the gasses with your hands? Can you grab hold of them?
No. Not with your physical senses.
The concept of time is the same.
It can not truly be understood with the physical senses you have available to you.
That is really how you go about learning, by relating things to your physical senses.
Some things remain irrational. That is, they can not be conceived by your rational mind.
You think of time as a pathway because you know what it feels like to walk down a pathway.
You perceive yourself taking one step after another and moving in a particular direction.
Your knowledge is limited by your perception.
The true nature of time is unavailable to you in your reality because you lack the necessary point of reference.
As the door between worlds continues to open, you will experience the unexplainable.
Your point of reference will expand.
You will begin to see that light, time, and space are the same.
They are the same as you; pure energy.
Knowing your Real self in this way will bring about a state of love that truly is All That Is.

Do not feel defeated.
You are experiencing rapid growth.
Your mind is open and knowledge is being infused, stored in your memory bank, the sub-conscious mind.
Be patient.
When you are ready, the walls of this bank will crumble and you will have full access.
You will know what to do with this knowledge.

June 1, 2007

Trust your instincts.
Don’t worry that your views are not mainstream, or do not fit into the belief systems of others.
We are all moving in the same direction.
We all have the same goal. Enlightenment.
This life is not all there is.
There are many more levels after your Earthly mission has been accomplished.
There are realities that you have not conceived of. Each has its own purpose.
Our goal is not to become One, but to realize that we are One already.

There are other aspects of being One that will be discovered with each new level you move into.

May 10, 2007

Let the love bubble up and spill out of you.
You are tapped into an abundant source and there is enough to fill eternity.
Smiles are grains of sand.
If you give one away you still have plenty more.
You are thinking of a beach; that is a lot of sand, but think of the sand dunes!
This equates to our love for you.
It is your job to spread it around.

May 8, 2007

(This message ended up being far different than the others. But I include it here because the same signal was used to let me know there was a message about to come through.)

This is your path and you have always known it.
Forgiveness has shown you the way; it will bring in even more blessings.
Trust yourself.
What you believe to be true about us IS.
It has been in our line.
You will continue the line.
Never forget who you are and what you are meant to do.
You will help.
You will heal, if you continue to love and grow in your ability to love your true self.

And never forget I always loved you,

(Alex was my paternal grandfather. When he mentions "what I believe to be true about us..." he is referring to our psychic abilities. I had suspected that it came from his side of the family, based on stories my mother used to tell about them.)

May 7, 2007

As a candle can light a room, so your light can light the world.
Never doubt your own power.
A little at a time can make all the difference.
This energy combined magnifies the effect.
Joining energies with others amplifies your own.
It is the tornado-like feeling you sense in and around your head and coming out through your hands and eyes.
It lifts you up to higher levels and fills your heart with love.

February 14, 2007

Look ahead but take one day at a time.
Live a full life and let the pieces fall into place.
You are safe and protected, looked after by many helpers.
Have faith in their love for you.
They are helping you with your purpose.
Help others.
Feed your soul.
Take chances.
Step out of your shell.
Be daring.
Walk the high wire.
The right path is opening up.
It is being laid out.
Take notice of the doors when they open.
You will need a different vantage point to see.

July 23, 2006

You evolved from the natural elements
Do not separate yourself from them now
To lift your spirits, water the flowers
The sunlight shining through the water droplets creates a prism
It magnifies the light
It multiplies the size and intensity of the plant’s aura
Let your energy field combine with that of the plant
The plant will act on your opiate receptors, as does petting a beloved animal
When you are feeling alone, water the flowers or pet an animal
Practice combining energy fields
You will feel better

July 22, 2006

We come from a level few have conceived of.
We are beings of light and sound, although not the light and sound you are familiar with.
Our light can not be seen with the eyes.
Our light resonates with a sound that can not be heard with the ears.
Our light and sound can not be separated into two distinct things because they are one.
Some on your planet have experienced our presence.
To some our presence is a high-pitched hum.
To some it is a sensation felt throughout the body, a sensation centered in the heart chakra.
To some our presence is known by little twinkles of pale blue light that can be seen when the eyes are shut.
We are trying to help you through this time of your quickening, through this rapid rate of human evolution.
To you who feel as if you are existing outside of your bodies, we ask you to listen to our message.
We will show you how to merge with the energy of the universe and feel it pulsating with love.

July 20, 2006

Your subconscious already contains all the knowledge that exists in all directions of time.
The way a scent can permeate the air, so knowledge exists inside you.
Synthesize that knowledge.
Bring it into your conscious mind by tuning into your higher self.

July 17, 2006

Distance is a measure of energy.
Like the lines of time that are always changing, only the point you are in is fixed.
Vibrations radiate out from that point.
What it takes to get from point ’A’ to point ‘B’ is really a measurement of the vibrations you create.
Emanate a vibration of peace and you will proceed with ease.
Emanate a vibration of negativity and you will have a bumpy road ahead of you.
Roadblocks are signposts telling you to change your energy.
Follow the peaceful path.

July 16, 2006

Be who you want to be
Start today to create your life
The paradox of intent will change the past as well as the future
Come out of the cave
Come into the light
Behold who you are and love yourself
Free yourself from sabotage by following your own encyclopedia of internal guidance
Sway with the answers
You body knows what’s true
Live your purpose
Uncover your truth
Be the light that shines
Illuminate the paths of others
Plant seeds of creation
The world will follow your steps
Be true
Be whole
Be healthy
Heal the world one smile at a time

July 10, 2006

Expect the unexpected
Souls sing a serenade
Beautiful music to my ears
Believe in life
Hold on to what it brings you
Cherish every moment of your time
Be kind to others and they will applaud you
Delight in the details
Peace brings a rich reward
Knowing you will be fine is the first step
Things happen for a reason
The truth will unfold to you in unexpected ways
Have faith
Live a quiet life

July 5, 2006

Varied signs of misdiagnosis elevate as the church awakens those who know who we really are and are ready to hear the message we are about to give.
Pay attention to the words.
Time is like a tower falling down.
Vibrations under ground send waves up to the top.
Cracks turn into craters and the whole thing crumbles down into a pile.
Its mass is still the same, just rearranged.
Conversions of space are similar.
Light is the energy that moves us along to higher destinations.


I began journaling my spiritual experiences on January 1, 2005. The "weird" things had been happening for quite a while, and by that point I had figured out much of what was going on. I was able to put a name to it at any rate. I was psychic.

The first entry in my journal was a past life regression. I was comfortable with the concept of past lives, and frankly, it made so much more sense to me than the idea that we only get one chance at life. I used oracle cards and tarot, but the idea of mediumship scared the hell out of me. I wanted nothing of it. And so the way it started was a surprise.

At the time I worked in a factory. My job was to watch a machine transfer computer chips form one disk to another... for 12 hours at a time... It was tedious to say the least.

I had just come back from my lunch break and had a clear and deep feeling that I needed to write something. It was almost as if there was a voice telling me do so. I opened my email and addressed a message to myself, with no idea what I was going to write. Without thinking about it I wrote, "This is what I know."

I remember typing it.

However, I don't remember anything that happened after that until I looked at the clock and saw that an hour had passed. I nervously looked over to my machines and saw that they were running fine, and to my amazement, I had even transferred cassettes and reset the machine a couple of times! Then I went back and read what I and written.
the way most of the world thinks of time is wrong. It is not linear. In that space on the other side, time does not exist. Every "time" is now. We, here, have developed an altered state of actual time (or non-time) to deal with all of the realities that we are bombarded with. It is easier for our unconnected minds (unconnected to the universal mind) to understand.

Although there is some reality to our physical self, our consciousness is tied to the Universal mind. Through this mind we can adjust the physical. When we have access to the Universal, we should affect change in our being and environment. The Universe requires this of us. It is our duty to those who do not know they have access to the Universal mind.

With this view of time, alternate realities should not be an abstract idea. Every thing is in existence, happening right now, on a different level, not in a different time (past or present). This is why our physical selves are formed and transformed by knowledge of our alternate selves ("past lives"), because these things are happening now to our other selves.

The world we see is not some mass hallucination. It is a physical reality that can and, for the most part, should be manipulated to create a higher awareness for those who are still unconnected to the Universal mind. I see this as an obligation. It is something that those who are connected wrote into our life contracts before we were incarnated into this physical reality. Therefore, to ignore it would be to deny ourselves of our purpose. (I guess what I just said was that our purpose is to aid in creating a higher awareness for those who are still unconnected to the Universal mind, or the God figure.) Accomplishing our purpose will end the incarnation process.

Most people feel the need to humanize the Universal mind by calling it a God. It is not human. It is a consciousness, an energy force. It created us, and we are made of it. To say that "god is within us" is correct to a degree. Our spirits, higher selves, subconscious minds are a part of it. Our physical selves are comprised of the planetary elements. Our spirits do not inhabit our bodies, but are more like a cloud, existing in and around our physical bodies.

When I got home I printed the email and taped it to my journal. The date was October 18, 2005.

Some of the things I wrote sounded like things that I believed. Others were things I had never thought of. I was amazed, thrilled, and frightened at the same time.

It was nearly a year later before it happened again, when I started channeling an angelic group who called themselves The Beings of Celestial Light and Intelligence.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Breakthrough!

Quite often I get an idea in my head and I can't think of anything else. I can't see anything else. This is what I have done regarding our upcoming move. I have become obsessed with finding the right place for my son and I to move. So obsessed, it seems, that I forget what is obvious. I forget what I already know.

I have been driving myself crazy for months asking for signs, getting answers, asking again, getting conflicting answers, becoming confused, becoming obsessed...

Today I pulled out the oracle cards and asked how to go about finding the right best place for my son and I to live.  As I lay out the reading the first card and last cards jump out at me. Protection and Letting Go. I didn't even read the rest of the cards that were on the table. The Protection card reminds that "the subject of your inquiry cannot in any way hurt you as long as you ask for protection". I knew Letting Go was referring to the need to let go of my grip on finding an answer. 

I centered myself, took a deep breath, and asked for protection. For a split second I could feel myself letting go.

There was a shift in the energy around me. Then I saw a forest in front of me. The ground shuffled and the trees moved in such a way that it created a clear pathway. I heard a voice say,  "Any where you go will be safe as long as you ask for protection..."  As I was writing the message down, something else took over and I began automatic writing, channeling.

This was the message I had received:
The answer is not in WHERE you should move. It is in your STATE-OF-MIND while you are there.

Move anywhere you like, but align your thinking and intention with spirit and you will find success and happiness. You will create it!

This feels like a real answer. At last!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Making and Keeping Friends

Let's talk about this. Maybe you should talk and I 'll listen because I don't think I know how it's done.

My struggle with friendships started in the third grade when my best friend dumped me for a kindergartner. Oh the broken heart! What did I do wrong? Somehow I had the feeling it had to do with the fact that my yellow pants with the roller skate embroidered on the back pocket weren't as cool as her red and brown plaid dress with the Winnie the Pooh.

On a trip to California a year later I found my next friend. My new Best Friend. I suppose she still carries that title even though I have been out of touch with her for about seven years.

Growing up in the religion I did was very restrictive. We were only allowed to have friends inside the church. SO when you are a Jehovah's Witness and in a small town it's kind of a double whammy. I made friends with a girl when I was about thirteen, but she lived an hour away and I didn't get to see her very often. We were reacquainted when I was 19 and spent two very fun years together before I got married and moved away.

As far back as I can remember, having strong friendships has been my truest desire. And as I got older this became clear. Why did I want fancy things? Because I hoped it would make people want to be around me. Why did I want to be thin and pretty? Because I thought it would draw people to me.

I am filled with wonder at large groups of friends. How do they do it? Where do they find each other? How does it go from meeting and to no-invitation-required?

A few years ago an acquaintance told me I come across as really weird. I was surprised at the time. I had no idea people think I'm weird. But the more I thought about it, I could see what he may have been talking about. I tend to want to get a feel for a person before I have contact with them. I don't think I can explain what this means. It's just an intuition that tells me if they are OK or not. Something I would not do is psychically intrude on someone else. I don't do that. I think that must be the assumption people make when they find out I am psychic. "Oh no, she can see all my secrets..." I could see some of your secrets if I looked, but I don't.

So, back to the question. How does one find friends and keep them? I have put in a lot of effort over the years trying to make friends, but what ends up happening is the effort, the phone calls, the invitations are not returned. And when I get tired of feeling like an outsider, and stop trying so hard, the "friendships" fizzle.

As I have gotten older, however, I find that my desire to deal with people's crap has significantly diminished. I don't want the drama.

One explanation is that you can only have deep friendships with people who you resonate with. If I clash with someone energetically, we will not be a good match, no matter how much effort is put into it.

I'd love to hear your stories if you want to tell me. How do you make friends and keep them? What can you tell me about friendship?

Monday, October 11, 2010

In Crisis

The last couple of months have been difficult. I think what I'm going through is called a crisis of faith.

In my last blog I wrote about feeling like I could reach out and touch my destiny. It seems that close. But practically by the time I was finished writing that sentence my ego kicked in and I have felt like crap ever since, even though I am a step closer to my dream now than I was then.

I asked for guidance about where my son and I should move and the answer puzzled me. The desert? Really? I am not a sun-lover. I am a fair-skinned red-head. I hate summer. Summer time turns me agoraphobic. So how could this be for the best?

I found some blessed relief when a taste of fall came to our valley. The temporary change of season reminded me how much I love the coastal areas of the Pacific Northwest. I immediately went online and searched the Washington coast for land for sale. Looking at the photographs made me relax when I hadn't been aware that I was tense. "I want THAT," is what I thought. But that thought was immediately followed by remembering the previous guidance. Arizona.

It got me thinking about guidance I have followed in the past, and how miraculous pathways opened up for me to follow said guidance, and how the outcomes turned out... absolutely devastating for me. I bet you thought I was going to tell you that the outcomes are always wonderful and life is la la la la la happy if you follow the guidance of your spirit. But it isn't always true.

So I have been questioning myself a lot lately about my ability to interpret the guidance I receive. Also, I understand that as a clairvoyant I see probabilities not absolutes. This is one of the areas where free-will comes into play.

The thoughts that have been spinning around in my head during this crisis of faith have been (1.) I am total rubbish at interpreting guidance for myself, and/or (2.) The free will of other people keep blocking my chances for happiness. There have been plenty of other negative thoughts as well.

Maybe spirit has been leading me in the direction of learning the life lessons I wanted to learn when I came the earth this time and telling me whatever it can in order for me go in that direction. If that is the case, I don't want to follow guidance from spirit anymore. I am tired of all the painful lessons. I am tired of the hard work. I want something nice, easy, peaceful, and happy. And I don't want the trade-off of having a life like that to be a constant sunburn!

So do I move to Arizona, the direction spirit has pointed me? Or do I follow my heart and go to the coast?

I don't know.

Don't know.