No relationship is perfect, but some are more of a challenge than others. I have stated before that the best way to find information on a current relationship is through past life regression.
It is a misconception that we plan our lives in a "you hurt me so I'm going to hurt you" kind of way. From what I have seen, this is a rarity. Patterns usually occur in which the same soul will play a similar roll in relationship to you within each incarnation. I saw an example of this with one of my clients who experienced a challenging relationship with the same soul who played the part of someone demanding and domineering, and who happened to be put in a position of superiority. In one life they were an abused wife and in another was bullied by a work colleague.
It is worth noting that it takes an incredible amount of love for a soul to take on the role of the challenger. I have seen this while doing readings for others and have experienced it in a very profound way within my life regarding my own challenging relationships.
The Soul Agreement
Let's discuss my former mother-in-law.
She was a manipulator who never thought I was good enough to be part of their family. She was cruel in ways that completely baffled me. I wondered about why she would say things that hurt me so bad emotionally that it caused physical pain.
For some reason, in the years following my divorce, I would have dreams about her. Strange dreams where she and I were happy to see each other and would talk about what's going on in our lives, like we were the best of friends. In these dreams there seemed to be a great deal of love between us.
When I learned how to consciously astral project, and began to recognize the visual cues of a projection, I realized that the dreams I had been having about her were actual meetings in the spirit world. During one of these meetings I became lucid enough to ask her why she treated me the way she had.
One of the things that surprised me was that she said the soul agreement I had during that part of my life was with her, not the person I was married to. She said I ended up married to him because I had a contract with her. She came into my life to pull me out of my shell, isolate me enough for me to see that I could survive on my own. Essentially, she agreed to make me so miserable that I would begin to question my life and my beliefs and see that there was another way to live.
She did this perfectly!
My questioning the beliefs I had been raised with was like pulling a brick out from the bottom of a pyramid. Eventually, everything that was resting on that belief began to crumble to the ground. I was left with no choice but to start rebuilding my belief systems and verifying each piece of information as to whether it was something that I had been programed to believe or if it was something coming from inside of me. It was difficult, emotional work. But it afforded me an opportunity that most people don't get. I had the chance to know and like the real me.
Past Life Patterns
Oh, the men in my life!
I don't want to go into a lot of detail, but there are patterns with particular souls that mirror the relationship we have have in this life. When I was dating, I enjoyed exploring past lives to get an idea about the kind of men I was spending my time with. It was also useful for showing me what I could expect to come of the relationship. Here are two examples.
When I dated C, I always felt like he was lying to me. I discovered a past life where he was my fiance. I was part of a very wealthy family, but when my family disowned me and I was left with nothing, he left me and married my sister instead. In another life he was a fiance who abandoned me when I became ill. The pattern played itself out in this life. He ended up moving in with another girl, the same soul who was my sister in the life where I was disowned.
And then there was A. Poor, A. I broke his heart, and I'm sad to say that was the pattern. In one life we were in love, but I was forced to marry someone much older who had a large herd of goats. In the time and place we lived this was the proof of wealth. I never got to see the boy I was in love with again. Another regression showed a lifetime where he was my son. He was a sweet, sensitive boy, my youngest. I was married to an abusive man who disliked the boy as much as he disliked me. As I lay dying, my husband refused to allow me medical care, but my boy, who was only 8 years old, stayed by my side the whole time. As I left my body I watched my son start crying. My husband boxed him hard in the ear and told him to shut up.
A Word About Karma
Karma means Balance. There is balance required to advance as a soul. I have broken hearts, and I have had my heart broken. That is balanced. That is Karma.
Karma does not mean that the husband who abused me will come back as someone that I abuse. There is no soul advancement in that. However, over the life of the soul who is an abuser, they will also have experiences that will help them to grow out of the pattern of abuse. That is balanced. That is Karma.
I will write more about this pattern of abuse in another post where I'll share some past lives I have had with someone in my close circle who was the abuser in past lives.