Friday, August 13, 2010


It was a gorgeous day today and I decided I would pack a picnic and take my son to the mountains. He fell asleep on the way there and I had a half hour of quiet. I was able to think.

I had a strange dream the other night. It was kind of creepy, but when I woke up analyzed it I thought it was pretty encouraging. In the dream I was digging in the garden, down at the root of a plant. I saw there were bugs there so I reached out to swipe them away. They were some kind of larva and they got all over the tips of my fingers. Then they started borrowing into my fingers! I grabbed my fingers with my other hand so they couldn't squiggle around. Then there was a voice telling me to let them alone, that this was a way I could get extra protein. I thought excitedly, "Oh, just what I need!"

I let go and saw that as the larva wiggled into the tips of my fingers they dissolved right away and my body assimilated the protein.

Larva seemed like the perfect symbol for transformation, because larva is never permanently larva, it's the beginning stage of something else. And, it seems, this transformation is at the tip of my fingers. With a little faith I may find that something that at first seems uncomfortable will be just what I need.

If I was going to describe where I am at in life right now, I'd say digging in the dirt and getting to the root of things is an accurate description. I have shucked off layers of beliefs that belonged to other people and gotten very clear about what I want out of life, and I have surprised myself. I have also found myself becoming increasingly sensitive to my environment in regards to the people around me and have begun eliminating chemicals from my food and beauty products. There are other changes, too. So many things have changed that sometimes I don't recognize myself.

As we were headed up the mountain today I was struck by a bolt of insight that made everything appear in slow motion. I am in the home stretch. My eyes are fixed on the goal, my goal. My destiny is so close I feel like I could and touch it, but for the first time in my impatient life I don't want to reach out. I want to sit back and watch it come to me. This is a transformation!

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