Sunday, June 27, 2010

Soul Loss

Most indigenous cultures believe that the soul can fragment due to trauma. These soul fragments do not progress with the rest of the soul but become trapped in the moment of the trauma where they split off from the whole.

My experience with soul loss is minor compared to what some people go through, but I have gone through the process of finding and reintegrating aspects of my soul that were stuck in my childhood.

For a little bit of background I’ll say that as a kid I had a compulsive habit of biting and licking my lips. My lips would swell up and dry out. They would crack and bleed, and the only relief, albeit temporary, would be to lick them again. It was a never-ending cycle. I won’t go into the reason I was so nervous as a kid that I was compelled to bite my lips, but the trauma that caused that nervousness is what caused the soul fragmentation.

I had forgotten about this old habit of mine until I found the soul fragment and tried to reintegrate it. A couple of days after the reintegration I realized that my lips were swollen and sore. When I tried to smile my lips cracked. Then I remembered.

While in meditation, I found that part of me that was the fragment I had reintegrated and put her in a bubble, away from the rest of me. The discomfort I felt in my lips went away immediately. After the recommendation of a friend, I spent some time talking to that scared, nervous little girl, telling her everything was OK and that I wouldn’t let anyone hurt her. Over some time I would go back to the bubble and check on the fragment-the little girl I used to be. Whatever part of the fragment that had stopped being scared and nervous I would let out of the bubble and reintegrate with the rest of me. Eventually, the fragment was fully integrated once again with no physical side effects.

As a mom, I worry about the kinds of trauma that could cause soul loss and try to keep my son as protected as possible. But there are always things that you can’t see coming.

My son and I were playing not too long ago, chasing each other around the house, peeking around corners and pretending to be scared. I guess he didn’t hear me come into the room, or he was distracted by the TV for minute, but when I peeked around the couch and said boo the poor little guy jumped and cried out. I actually saw his energy fragment and part of it float away like it was a cartoon ghost. I ran to him to give him comfort and as I hugged him I was talking out loud to the fragmented part of his energy, telling it that it was OK and I loved it too… Some of it came back, and some of it stayed in that moment of shock.

I was reminded of these personal examples when I saw a stranger at a group function last night. He seemed a little off so I stayed distant from him without trying to make it obvious. It is my habit to observe people who come into contact with us before we get too close to them.

This man felt absent. Not all there. He had the faint feeling of someone who is mentally handicapped, but there was something else. Energetically I reached out to him and was surprised to find that such a large portion of his soul had fragmented he really was “not all there”. When I realized he was dealing with soul loss I saw in my minds eye a pie graph with 25% of it shaded. A full quarter of this man was gone, stuck in its past as an abused child. (I saw what happened to him as a child, but here is no need to pass that information on.)

You can read more about soul loss in the book Soul Retrieval: Mending the Fragmented Self by Sandra Ingerman. If you read this book, keep in mind she is a shamanic practitioner and has a monetary interest in some of the advice she gives. While I don’t agree with all the warnings she gives, the book is a good place to start if you are interested in soul retrieval.

I used a modified version of Colette Baron-Reid’s Goblin Meditation to reintegrate my soul fragment. Listen to Colette talk about the goblin and hear the meditation here.

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